Everyone wants their relationship to work, but sometimes we need to take drastic measures, say we’ve had enough, and move on. But to know which signs are red flags can be difficult. After all, we do not want to simply give up when there could be a good thing going. Still, in some cases it’s better to close the book.
Bright Side taps into some alarming signs that should alert you to end your relationship immediately and the reasons why these signs should be important to you.
1. You do not like yourself.
This is a surefire sign that the relationship you have now is detrimental to you. If you liked yourself before you met your partner, but began to dislike who you are since the start of your relationship, that person is not for you.
2. You feel like you’re tiptoeing around your partner.
You feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around your partner. You’re afraid that whatever you do or say might just tick them off. A good relationship should not be this fragile. It would be better to break up, so that you can be more at ease.
3. Your friends and family think you should break up.
There must some good reasons why your trusted friends and family are telling you that you should break up. These are the people who only want the best for you. If they voice their concern about your relationship, maybe you should take a step back and see if you missed a red flag.
4. You’re the only one trying to make it work.
Any relationship requires hard work from both parties. If you feel like you’re the only one pulling the weight to make the relationship work, then perhaps it is best to end the relationship.
5. You keep hoping your partner will change.
You have an ideal version of your partner in your head and you hold on to the wish that it will come true sometime in the future. The truth is, change is the only constant. They could turn into the image of your perfect partner, but there is no guarantee that they will not turn back to being who they were before.
6. You’re holding on to good memories.
You need to stop and think about whether the reasons you’re still with your partner are all in the past tense. “Because they were good to me,” or “Because I owe them one,” or “Because we used to have such a good time in bed.” The present and the future should also be a part the reasons you’re with them.
7. You feel suffocated.
Clingy or obsessive partners can take away your freedom and make you feel like there is no air to breathe. Everyone needs space. Someone who cannot respect your space or who makes you feel trapped is not someone you should be with.
8. You’re settling because of fear.
What if there’s no one better for you out there? What if you end up alone if you break up with this one? Fear of the “what ifs” should never be the reason for you to settle for someone you don’t even want to be with.
9. You feel disrespected by your partner.
The words or actions of your partner belittle you. They underestimate you or think you won’t ever measure up, the way Warner looks down on Elle Woods in Legally Blonde. They make you think you are less than what you really are. Your significant other should believe in you, not make you feel you deserve less.
10. You’re holding on because of social pressure.
This is especially true when you are in a relationship with someone who was introduced by your friends or family. It would feel awkward to hang out with the same crowd if you break up with them. But this does not mean that you should sacrifice your happiness just because of social pressure.
11. You would rather do anything else than spend time with them.
Even if you have to do overtime at work or do household chores that you hate, you would rather do these things, than spend time with your partner. Whether this is because you no longer want to be with them or you are running away from them for some reason, it’s a sign that you should be honest with yourself and try to understand why you don’t want to be with them anymore.
12. Your partner shows signs of violence.
Nobody should ever have to take a hit from anyone else, especially not from their own partner. If your partner begins assaulting you or even showing any signs of violence, it is time to show them the door or you, yourself, should get out as fast as you can.
13. You feel very jealous and suspicious of them.
When your partner goes out, you think they are with someone else. When they are checking their phone, you sneak a peek to confirm that it is not your love rival. The foundation of a healthy relationship is trust. Once jealousy and suspicion creep in to shake that, you might want to rethink your relationship.
14. You or your partner are still hung up on an ex.
Sometimes people need to be on their own for a while to sort out their unresolved feelings. If you’re not over an old flame, it means that you need to give yourself time before diving into a new relationship.
15. Your relationship needs to be kept a secret.
Because, chances are, your partner is ashamed of you. Or you are ashamed of them. It could also be that your relationship is one of many that they have with others. Or the other way around. Alternatively, your relationship might be frowned upon because of your social status. Whatever it is, this cannot possibly be healthy for you.
16. You’ve broken up and gotten back together more than once.
The off and on relationship can be confusing to both of you and the people around you. Others who might want to be with you might think twice if they know about your off and on relationship. The thing about relationships is that they give you the perception of stability. So if your relationship works like a switch, it is no longer stable.
17. You keep wishing for someone else.
You cannot help but wonder, is there someone better for you out there. You might have a Tinder account, even though you are going steady with your partner. Maybe instead, you should speak to your partner about going casual or ending the relationship to keep your options open. That way it would be more fair to the both of you.
18. You use Google to look for a sign that you should break up with them.
If you’re here after searching on Google for signs that you should break up, then that itself is a sign that you should. This kind of action comes from doubts about the relationship. There must be a reason why you feel you need a sign to dump your partner.
19. The 2 of you don’t communicate well.
The shouting, the not listening, the mimicking, the sulking, the name-calling, and the storming out the door are some examples. One of the traits of a good relationship is good communication. If both parties cannot make the compromise and effort to understand each other, what is the point of being together?
20. You feel lonelier than if you were single.
While it is okay to feel lonely once in a while, it is not okay to always feel lonely when you are in a relationship. Especially not when you feel lonelier than if you were on your own. Both parties should surround the other with love, and not make each other feel emptier.
Do you recognize any of these signs in your current or past relationships? What other signs are a sure cry for you to say goodbye to your partner?
Illustrated by Natalia Okuneva-Rarakina for Bright Side
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